Monday, November 21, 2022

The DMV

It was that dreadful time. The drivers license renewal. I had recently gotten new glasses and was confident about the eye test, but lordy have mercy I was NOT ready for the photograph! I want to know what evil monster is behind the invention of the camera that takes license photos! Maybe my new license is haunted and that's actually a snapshot of the ghost inside!

Driving home I said aloud to myself "If I just looked ten years younger I could live with this!" 

Once home I took a few quick selfies first thing and low and behold I did look at least ten years younger than the license photo! After breathing a sigh of relief I mumbled "did I just waste a secret wish on ten years? Should've said twenty."

I know I'm getting old. I get that. I also understand I'm not in a tax bracket to afford a facelift. I mean, if I was offered a free facelift if I got to the plastic surgeon's office in 20 minutes I wouldn't have to think about it for even a second. I would break traffic laws to get there! Until that happens I do what I can. Every morning and night I scrub my face and apply a good moisturizer. I also take a hyaluronic acid supplement daily to help retain moisture in my skin. 

I decided through this experience it was time to take a new photo to replace the over a decade old one I have been using in profiles. Some looked like I was constipated. Others had the "resting bitch face". After many tries I settled on the "has-been comedian" pose. It's not bad for 61 is it? It's heads above the DMV at least! 

Do I really have to remind you not to steal my face? Just in case, you do not have my permission to use my photo.

My new profile photo. I can honestly say it's better than the DMV's.

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