The morning of my 50th Birthday, November 10, 2011, I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off as any morning, but as I silenced the noise a thought popped into my head that had never been there before: 'You're a hag.' For the first hour this horrible thought echoed through my brain as I brushed my hair, drank my coffee, got dressed, got my son to school and man to work. I'm a hag.
I turned to the Internet for help to feel better. I googled 'I'm 50 years old'. The first place I visited talked of how I'm now over the hill with cartoons of saggy boobed women. The second site looked promising for help until the woman started talking about how more than half my life was now over...gee, thanks. I feel SO much better knowing I'm closer to death than ever before... I just didn't find anything that made me feel better. Of course I started crying after the second website and kept at it for several hours. That DID help a little. So my first advice is to cry if you need to, even watch 'Steel Magnolias' if you need to, that's my 'cry' movie that I love!
I think it was that moment though that I realized I needed to do something. It was a small thought at first, but grew every day. Finally I decided to do what I love: write! I've also decided plain honesty is best. Maybe over time as I share being 50 my experiences will bloom into Knowledge. Actually if I give someone a chuckle or make one person smile I'll feel good about the time I'm putting into this. I really don't want to make this a 'woe is me' site. Who wants to read how someone is bummed, sad and weepy? Not me! I'll buzz right past some one's blog who talks about how horrible life is. Yea, I hope to find some answers in how to cope, but as Shirley MacLaine said: "The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused."
No comments:
Post a Comment