My DOOOOMSSSDAY DRAWERRRR

It's been a while, I know. I'm a bad blogger.


A while back I mentioned all the shows now about doomsday. All the people who have spent thousands and THOUSANDS of dollars preparing for solar flares, another ice age, mass hysteria from the economy going into the crapper, or many other horrible things that may happen. I have to confess I watch the shows. I find some of the people odd and quirky, and I wish some of the others were my best friends that I could run to and be protected from all the zombies or starving masses.


My own preparedness has...well...improved? I still only have the four two-liter bottles of water I stuck in the shed. But I have actually added some food...of sorts. What I've been doing is taking things I bought on some impulse and/or out of a markdown bin, decided I didn't like it and stuck it in a drawer and called it my Doomsday Drawer. (Here you should add a thunderous echo in your head when you say: "DOOOOMSSSDAY DRAWERRRR") That's just to make me feel like I've done something! What I have in my drawer is a package of some sort of soy food that has dried veggies mixed in it and a package of I think chicken bullion. I got that free. Hard to believe hu? I also have a package of black corn microwave popcorn. It smells and taste like saw dust, so I added the last pack and if times are scarce I can pop it in a pan over a fire, or I can suck the imitation butter off the kernels and plant them to grow more saw dust corn. I also have two packages of dried plums. Now, one would assume that's just a nice way of saying prunes, but there is a difference. I like prunes. These are tasteless. Prunes are sweet. These are not. Prunes are soft. These are hard. Difference that puts them in my DOOOOMSSSDAY DRAWERRRR. I want to put salt in there because I bet it will be valuable in Missouri since the ocean is so far away and gas will become scarce to get there yourself. Salt used to be more valuable than gold, and if people have to eat saw dust and hard plums I bet I can trade salt for some dead animal after the "end" happens. I haven't done it yet, but I'm going to one of these days! I also have a package of instant brown gravy mix. I figure gravy could make something taste better. But that's it. That's all I've got right now. Long way to go, but at least I won't starve for a week...that's how long it will take for me to get hungry enough to eat that crap!


I had a weird dream on this subject. This guy had cut his arm real bad on something and I was chasing him with a piece of moldy bread  and duct tape in my hands yelling "Stop! Stop! I just want to tape this bread to your arm!" For some reason he was terrified of me and was screaming as he tried to get away from me. I wouldn't give up either. I was bound and determined to duct tape that bread to his wound...As you know penicillin is made from mold found on bread and stuff. I don't really know how to use it in real life, though I found out blue cheese has penicillin mold in it, so it would be better to just eat a chunk of blue cheese if you ask me...which you SHOULD NOT because I'm and idiot at survival. Obviously!




What YOU should have learned this month is DO NOT count on me. I'll probably maim myself trying to set a rabbit trap in my back yard.


What I learned is I really need to make friends with someone who can keep me from killing myself with a rabbit trap or moldy bread.