The DMV

It was that dreadful time. The drivers license renewal. I had recently gotten new glasses and was confident about the eye test, but lordy have mercy I was NOT ready for the photograph! I want to know what evil monster is behind the invention of the camera that takes license photos! Maybe my new license is haunted and that's actually a snapshot of the ghost inside!

Driving home I said aloud to myself "If I just looked ten years younger I could live with this!" 

Once home I took a few quick selfies first thing and low and behold I did look at least ten years younger than the license photo! After breathing a sigh of relief I mumbled "did I just waste a secret wish on ten years? Should've said twenty."

I know I'm getting old. I get that. I also understand I'm not in a tax bracket to afford a facelift. I mean, if I was offered a free facelift if I got to the plastic surgeon's office in 20 minutes I wouldn't have to think about it for even a second. I would break traffic laws to get there! Until that happens I do what I can. Every morning and night I scrub my face and apply a good moisturizer. I also take a hyaluronic acid supplement daily to help retain moisture in my skin. 

I decided through this experience it was time to take a new photo to replace the over a decade old one I have been using in profiles. Some looked like I was constipated. Others had the "resting bitch face". After many tries I settled on the "has-been comedian" pose. It's not bad for 61 is it? It's heads above the DMV at least! 

Do I really have to remind you not to steal my face? Just in case, you do not have my permission to use my photo.

My new profile photo. I can honestly say it's better than the DMV's.

Stolen Thunder

A year ago I was invited to a wedding. While we were/still are in the Pandemic, the bride assured me there would be safeguards in place including having the ceremony outside and spacing the guest chairs. To say I was excited to BE GOING SOMEWHERE is an understatement. I was bonkers excited! I wanted to scream I was so happy! BHP and I even left a day early so we could visit his grandmother's grave and shower it with flowers. He hadn't been to visit since he was a teen so I was more than happy to go. Yeah, this part is off topic, but grave visits are important in my opinion.

Anyway it was an amazing wedding! It incorporated a nod to their shared Scottish heritage and I was blown away by her dress! BHP probably had a bruised shoulder from the number of times I banged on it through the updates leading up to and the wedding itself. They're! Taking! A! Train! To! Chicago! For the honeymoon! I want to take a train anywhere some day. It just seems so romantic to a person who lives somewhere passenger trains never come.

I need to get to the point of this post!

When our (20 yo) son was first out of high school he was gung-ho to start an algae farm. He recently dropped the idea because his research showed it wasn't as big of a moneymaking idea as he was first led to believe. I was so proud of him for researching! But at the wedding reception when the mother of the bride asked me how the son was, I started talking about the farm what was then still a future possibility. She stopped me and said "oh, yea, *insert relative's name* told us." I was taken aback why this person who has several children of their own not to mention something like 18-75 grandchildren AND 7-559 great grandkids and who HAD to have some damn news they could have talked about instead from at least one or two had to steal my thunder about my ONLY CHILD. I guarantee the relative rolled their eyes and laughed when they told her. I vowed right then to never tell them anything else ever again!

But... I started thinking... "hum...will that bring me joy?" I mean, I'm not going to go out of my way, but I made a point last time they called of mentioning the 6' tall, freezer on the bottom, refrigerator the son bought us for no reason other than he had a vendetta against the old one. Something fell off the top, broke the plate he was carrying which cut his hand so it was on! I figure that pissed them off. Maybe enough to glare at their own brood and possibly enough not to share it with the whole family tree because it's something good. Time will tell by someone else mentioning it to me as they're the only one I told as a test. Will I make stuff up and see how far it travels through the family? Tempting but no. I have enough trouble remembering real events. I don't want to have to remember fake bs.

Seriously though, he's really a great kid- or young man really. A few years back he said he's not cutting his hair until the world is a better place. Of course it's beautiful!      

 

Shut Up Imaginary Woman!

I woke after a solid 6 hours of sleep this morning. I hadn't been sleeping well, so I was happy to know I'd be starting this Friday more rested than I had been. From there the morning went downhill. Yay.

On the way to pick up BHP and our son from work (they both work 3rd shift) I decided I didn't like the truck in front of me. They were going the speed limit and weren't driving in any way erratically, but the unknown driver was getting on my nerves for existing within my field of vision. Lucky for me there were two lanes, so by switching I was able to change scenery to a little car that wasn't annoying and on I drove.

The boy immediately irritated me by getting in the car and saying "hello", and his dad I think tried to be funny in the grocery store that to my ears sounded like a personal attack. The freshly made old-fashioned style donut BHP bought me at our favorite donut shop was a smart move on his part. All the sweet glaze on a deepfried circle of dough gave him and our son a few moments of reprieve. It was unfortunately a fleeting moment in a sea of storm whipped emotion.

After my passengers finally decided to shut the hell up and let me sulk in quiet, this stupid voice in my head started telling me how grateful I should be to not be alone and to suck it up! Let me tell you I told that imaginary woman off and where she could shove her advice! The nerve of her!

My joints ached and I just wanted to be alone with a mug of coffee or tea somewhere. I don't get waking time by myself much, and this morning I really wanted some while knowing full well it wouldn't happen. I mean, sure, BHP and son go to bed in the late mornings, but they're still in the house. At that moment the circumference of my bubble had expanded to include said house, so they were invading my personal space.

I tried to sit on the porch with our pointer/hound mix. The neighbor across the street almost immediately walked out of his house and began to use his leaf blower. Come on! Really?! 

I know this mood will pass and I'll feel "normal" later. My guess is it's tied to that lovely, lovely menopause which I'm still waiting to go away. The night sweats thankfully ended and I'm grateful for that, and I would have to say the Linda Blair level mood swings have been limited to just a few with this one being the worst in my opinion. 

Maybe a nap? I don't know, but it sounds like a plan.

My porch companion, Emrys. He barked at Mr. Leaf Blower. It was just a single "borf" but he got his point across. I told him he was a good boi. 

Do not copy. He's our good boi not yours.