Week One (11/10-16)

The good news of having a Birthday in November is its eggnog season. The bad news of turning 50 in November is its eggnog season.

The first week of turning 50 I slapped on my sweats and a big t-shirt and immersed myself in comfort food. I drank several quarts of eggnog at different times that week, ate butterscotch pudding, my son's leftover Halloween candy but I controlled myself and only ate the kinds I knew he didn't like. Some of it's a blur. I know there were pinwheels, strawberry logs and Chico sticks involved, but I honestly only remember one actual meal. Yes, yes, you have to watch what you eat as you get older, but week one was about drowning my sorrows. I'm not a big drinker. I do like champagne, but that's a 'happy' drink and I was not happy. I like Japanese Plum wine, but that mellows you out and I wasn't in the mood to be mellow, I was mad! The meal I remember was when my boyfriend took me out Friday night to a Brazilian steakhouse. It was a wonderful evening just the two of us. He’s a sweet guy. He's 12 years younger than me so he has no clue how it feels to turn 50, but he gets a gold star for getting me out of the house.

What did I learn from week one? Hum. Have to say:

1. Let yourself be mad! It's okay to wallow in your pain, just don't live there.

2. Eggnog is awesome.

Wake up! Your 50!

The morning of my 50th Birthday, I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off as any morning, but as I silenced the noise a thought popped into my head that had never been there before: 'You're a hag.' For the first hour this horrible thought echoed through my brain as I brushed my hair, drank my coffee, got dressed, got my son to school and man to work. I'm a hag.

I turned to the Internet for help to feel better. I googled 'I'm 50 years old'. The first place I visited talked of how I'm now over the hill with cartoons of saggy boobed women. The second site looked promising for help until the woman started talking about how more than half my life was now over...gee, thanks. I feel SO much better knowing I'm closer to death than ever before... I just didn't find anything that made me feel better. Of course I started crying after the second website and kept at it for several hours. That DID help a little. So my first advice is to cry if you need to, even watch 'Steel Magnolias' if you need to, that's my 'cry' movie that I love!

I think it was that moment though that I realized I needed to do something. It was a small thought at first, but grew every day. Finally I decided to do what I love: write! I've also decided plain honesty is best. Maybe over time as I share being 50 my experiences will bloom into Knowledge. Actually if I give someone a chuckle or make one person smile I'll feel good about the time I'm putting into this. I really don't want to make this a 'woe is me' site. Who wants to read how someone is bummed, sad and weepy? Not me! I'll buzz right past some one's blog who talks about how horrible life is. Yea, I hope to find some answers in how to cope, but as Shirley MacLaine said: "The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused."